Episode 18: Your Questions, Answered
We opened the mailbag. Craig and Arielle grouped dozens of listener questions by theme and worked through them — covering infant sleep and the SNOO, night wakings that seem to defy logic, 4 AM toddler wake-ups, bedtime resistance, a 5-year-old with "bad dreams" that aren't actually scary, daycare nap chaos, and a rapid-fire round on floor beds, crib-to-bed transitions, and whether you have to sleep train at all. Some of it is practical, some is reassuring, and a few answers hinge on the difference between a behavior problem and a medical one.
Key Takeaways
- Safe sleep comes first. In the first six months especially: flat, firm surface; room-share without bed-share; no soft bedding. If an infant genuinely can't tolerate lying flat, that's a pediatrician conversation, not a sleep-training one.
- When night wakings look random on the "same" schedule, average total sleep over seven days. Clock-time schedules can hide big variation in actual sleep amounts — and total sleep is what the child's body is optimizing against.
- A pattern of 4–5 hours of solid sleep followed by wakings every 2–3 hours almost always points to a sleep-onset association. If your child falls asleep with you present, they tend to need you present to transition between each subsequent sleep cycle.
- The right order for night weaning, room transition, and sleep training: get the baby into their own sleep space first, then address feeding, then sleep train. Don't layer sleep training on an unresolved feeding problem, and don't put an infant on a floor bed.
- A toddler whose sleep is consistently wrecked by mild congestion deserves a look for obstructive sleep apnea — especially if they snore when well. Benadryl only "works" because it sedates; it doesn't dry up viral secretions, and OTC cough/cold products aren't recommended under 6.
- You don't have to sleep train. If your child and household are sleeping well enough, there's nothing to fix. Sleep training is a tool for when someone in the house is suffering — not a milestone to hit.
Links
Studies, articles & posts
- Is Room Sharing in Infancy Necessary for Safe Sleep in 2024? – Dr. Canapari
- Co-Sleeping in Infancy: Bed-Sharing Is Not Safe – Dr. Canapari
- Sleep-onset associations: toddler night wakings and how to fix them – Dr. Canapari
- Why does my toddler wake up at night? – Dr. Canapari
- Toddler early morning awakenings: what to do about them – Dr. Canapari
- Is your toddler screaming at bedtime? A concrete plan for bedtime resistance – Dr. Canapari
- Napping problems in toddlers and preschoolers – Dr. Canapari
- What to do about nap strikes – Dr. Canapari
- The bedtime pass: a great technique for older kids – Dr. Canapari
- Huggy Puppy: my favorite treatment for nighttime fears – Dr. Canapari
- How to stop co-sleeping so you and your child can sleep better – Dr. Canapari
- Sleep training in a coughing child – Dr. Canapari
- Obstructive sleep apnea in children – Dr. Canapari
- AAP safe sleep recommendations (2022 update) — room sharing without bed sharing, flat firm surface, no soft bedding, ideally through the first 6–12 months
- Study showing benefits of outdoor play for sleep in Japanese Toddlers Murata E, Yoshizaki A, Fujisawa TX, Tachibana M, Taniike M, Mohri I. What daily factors affect the sleep habits of Japanese toddlers? J Clin Sleep Med. 2023 Jun 1;19(6):1089-1101. doi: 10.5664/jcsm.10508. PMID: 36789883; PMCID: PMC10235708.
People & books mentioned
- Become Your Child's Sleep Coach: The Bedtime Doctor's 5-Step Guide, Ages 3-10 – Lynelle Schneeberg PsyD
- The Happiest Baby on the Block – Harvey Karp MD
Get in touch & next steps
- Arielle's free 24-hour sleep guide: https://expect-to-sleep.kit.com/24hrsleep
- Submit Listener Feedback and Questions Here
- (00:00) - Intro
- (01:23) - Safe sleep and the 5-month-old who "can't" lie flat
- (05:10) - Julie — SNOO weaning and feeding-to-sleep
- (08:27) - Kira — 4-month-old bassinet refusal
- (10:41) - Hannah — can you skip the schedule and just follow sleep cues?
- (13:15) - Michaela — one good night, three bad, same schedule
- (15:55) - BD — 4–5 hours of sleep, then wakings every 2–3 hours
- (17:56) - Megan — 8-month-old nursing to soothe, no solids
- (21:31) - Simona — night weaning, room transition, sleep training — what order?
- (24:26) - Tyler — 2.5-year-old tantruming at 4–5 AM
- (26:54) - Arman — 7-month-old, dream feeds, 4–5 AM wakings
- (29:16) - Kay — 30-month-old who naps easily but fights bedtime
- (33:28) - Jason — 5-year-old's "bad dreams" that don't scare him
- (35:24) - Betty — daycare 30-minute naps and the 8:30 PM bedtime
- (38:43) - Anna — co-sleeping a 9-month-old with frequent illness
- (41:47) - Lauren — snow globe as a "calm toy" at bedtime
- (43:41) - Karen — toddler sleep with a cold, nasal sprays, and ENT
- (45:45) - Sonia's rapid fire begins
- (46:18) - Crib-to-bed transition and floor beds
- (47:31) - Pros and cons of not sleep training
- (48:34) - SNOO vs. a traditional bassinet
- (51:15) - The 2-year-old who won't stay in his own bed
- (54:43) - Outdoor naps at Patagonia HQ daycare
- (56:10) - Wrap-up